Ok, so this isn't an actual football player, but how could I NOT think of the giant football players on their tiny little mopeds while looking at this guy? If you thought John Clay was huge on the field, just picture him on this tiny little thing trying to get to class and go back to sleep. I live above several football players and I'm quite convinced they don't actually know how to walk. Evidence? Have you ever seen a football player walk? Of course not. Sure you see them run all the time, maybe jog slowly, but if they were ever need to get somewhere, like say across the street, how do you think they would get there? Easy, by riding their moped. I've even seen football players resort to riding their girlfriend's PINK moped (pictures on the way). A further investigation is underway.
Pending investigations: Whether football players can drink water without the help of an assistant coach.
Photo and article by by M. Jenkins
